I felt like such an unfit mother for having these thoughts that felt very intense. Then I had a conversation with a dear friend and her response: “no judgement here, tell me what’s on your mind.”
While many couldn’t wait for 2020 to end at the same time joking about how terrible 2021 would be, I found beauty in the ashes and gained new life. I am stronger than I have ever been. I am still learning and growing.
I learned that I didn’t need to be perfect, that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23 NIV). God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, we were born into sin and as such, we are imperfect beings.
I was the butterfly who had been trapped within her cocoon for years, trying to scratch my way out, feeling suffocated and alone. But He had a plan for me, He needed to transform my heart before I could be freed from the prison of the cocoon and emerge as the beautiful creature He designed me to be.
I walked into her living room on that first night and felt very much out of place, awkward, and unsure of why I said yes. But I stayed, I came back, and I kept coming every Tuesday until it happened…
This past year has been hard for a lot of people. Many sank deep into depression due to the lockdowns, fear of the unknown, and the constantly changing world. But our Creator works in such amazing ways; while so many found reasons to despair, others felt a fire deep within their soul and found rebirth.